Back on the Dating Wagon.

Waking up every morning to an inbox full of matches is kind of like waking up on Christmas morning. Well, except last Christmas, I woke up that morning to news my father died. But on a normal Christmas morning that is what the first batch of matches you receive is like. It fills you with unadulterated hope that there IS actually someone out there for you. Then you start to browse through said matches…

This one’s 3 inches shorter than me, this one lives too far, this one has his cat with him in all his profile pictures, this one is 5 years too young and this one is 15 years too old…and creepy. Then you find one. Looks [normal]- check. Job – check. Age – check. Height – check. Fantastic! One worth reading.

You read, you like, communication begins. Questions, more questions, likes and dislikes, essay questions and then, finally, email. I strongly believe that anyone can have a fun, flirty conversation over email. Think about it, all you are doing is reading some words another person wrote. But you’re not just reading them, you’re implying them, to your own life. You are taking it (if you’re a female) 1,000 steps too far and imagining what your bridesmaids dresses will look like. (Sheer v neck overlay, tea length, a-line in eggplant). With very little to go on, you give the other every single possible, unlikey benefit of any doubt. So there it is – you have a crush.

After several emails back and forth of the normal getting to know each other banter, he bravely steps out and asks to get together. This first ematch however, did ask to get together but he qualified it by first saying “well at least you’ll make a new friend.” To which I silently replied “Look, dude, if I wanted a friend I’d go to” Despite my charmingly snarky response, I found his insecurity endearing. (See – benefit of doubt)

So, first edate and I began texting once we had plans – almost all day, both days leading up to our big date. I was very excited and nervous. He offered to pick me up, which normally I would have said no to because he was indeed a stranger, I agreed to because it was raining and also I wanted to wear heels. He arrives, calls me to tell me so and I rush down stairs.

There is a little white car double parked with the lights flashing, so I assume this is him. He doesn’t get out of the car. Ok? I get in. He doesn’t make eye contact with me. Weird. He introduces himself and I, me and we’re off. He apologizes for being late because he was at a funeral. “Oh no!” I think, but then realize if he’s on a date it probably wasn’t someone that close, so I say that… He tells me it was his Uncle who passed. There is a very long, awkward silence.

As we get closer to the spot he picked out we notice parking will be difficult, as it was a Friday night. As we circle the block a few times there comes a point where we’re in a tight squeeze with another desperate car looking for parking. The other car stalls a minute, as it is rainy and dark and edate just starts yelling out the window for the driver to hurry up, followed by quite the bit of expletives. And that is when I re-thought online dating.

Once we arrive at the bar, we sit and look at the beer menu, quick back and forth about beer and what type we both like. I told him I like a nice pilsner, or maybe an Irish ale just nothing too hoppy. The bartender comes over and he takes the liberty of ordering for us (oh, chivalrous, you’re thinking) but he never asked me what I wanted he ordered FOR me. And to top it off, it was a hoppy brew that he loved(and I ended up not liking). He spent the majority of the night talking about himself, which was fine, I don’t mind asking questions but there was little to no chemistry or even interest.

Soon enough, it was time to leave. As we stood up together I noticed that I towered over him. I must have been at least 5 inches taller than him in my 3 inch heels(which according to his profile, I wasn’t expecting). I felt really bad when he looked up at me in shock. I didn’t notice when we were walking to the bar. It was the perfectly awkward moment to finish the night on. We walked to his car and he offered to take me home, which again out of laziness I accepted. He dropped me off and got out of the car to give me a hug. I thought that was very nice.

I think he liked me. I think he was nervous. I think he was surprised when he texted me the next day to ask when we would hang out again and I said “I’m looking to pursue other options.” I felt bad, for a little while, thinking about how I believe his heart was in the right place. However, my heart wasn’t in a place anywhere near his, and therefore it’s best to continue on looking.

4 thoughts on “Back on the Dating Wagon.

  1. I am not sure you intended for anyone to read you blog but I have been reading it and enjoy it. You are a great writer and could write blogs for a living. I hope you next edate is better. Good luck!

  2. Although you are completely and utterly huggable, maybe the little guy just wanted to get up in your boobalahs. Sorry, but I’m tall and it’s always awkward hugging guys that are much shorter than you. Anyway, better luck next time. Tracy and I have someone in mind for you…Luv ya, baby.

  3. You have to kiss 100 frogs to find the prince…well, maybe edate ’em, I don’t know bout the kissing part! Keep a lid on those boobalahs! Love, your Mother

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