The Holiday Refresh Button.

For me, the holidays are like a refresh button. As soon as it gets to this time of year, near Thanksgiving we can all slow down, breathe and enjoy the last 6 weeks of the 52 we started with. As soon as January 2nd comes along it is back to full throttle “I have to make the most out of this year” frenzy. Of course there are times throughout the year where you can stop and enjoy the life you’re working so hard to upkeep, but the holidays especially is when you’re suppose to do it, in public.

Being an adult now it’s funny to remember back and think of the 26 Thanksgivings I’ve experienced. Some were the crazy family stereo type, some were me eating at the neighbor’s house because my mom decided she’d rather work and some were me sitting alone at work because that’s what I had to do to pay my bills. This year, I’ve been lucky enough to be invited to a friends family’s home to share their turkey dinner. I’m extremely grateful for that as otherwise I would have sat at home and ordered Chinese food and watched movies all day. I know that sounds fun too, but that could be done any other day.

I want to be surrounded by fellow survivors of this human race. We’re all in this together, at different levels, speeds, investments, and what have you. There are some times when I speak to someone and I feel there is just absolutely nothing behind their eyes. They exist just to buy things and then complain about those things… on facebook. I wonder if they ever stop to be grateful for what they have, or if they ever try to reach for deeper meaning in life.

As a person interested in deeper meaning I look to Buddhism to help find that meaning. I often, and easily, get overwhelmed with my findings. Thoughts of connectedness and nothingness are really, really scary. Life as I know it has always been led the same way and to venture out of that comfort zone to find alternative ways of thinking or living is in itself scary. There are days where I feel confined to my bed because getting out of it and participating in anything seems so meaningless and pointless which can then directly be followed by a day where I jump out of bed to eager post a blog, go out into the world or just feel alive.

Problems in our world are getting more and more unavoidable, like the problems I’ve expressed in my life that are getting more and more unavoidable. Government is trying to pass a bill to censor the internet. The idea of that is so ridiculously outlandish that I can not even imagine congress themselves taking it seriously. I was thinking as I looked up (on the internet) and read (on the internet) the first 10 Amendments- that congress is turning into a Jewish Mother.

For instance, a member of congress at some point will have to have read the constitution. I’m sure there’s a cheat sheet for (at least) the first 10 Amendments, taped to the inside of the desks in the capitol building (the same way we cheated on 6th grade spelling tests) for them to reference. Therefore they must know: Amendment 1 guarantees- Freedom of Religion, Press, Expression. (Ratified 12/15/1791) Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances. BU-UT, like a Jewish Mother, they really mean to say “as long as I approve.”

Where does our fight begin? This shouldn’t have even gotten to me, I should not know that some power hungry official, elected in because his name sounded friendly to a voter, wants to edit the freest form of speech. The internet is a perfect example of how a society should run – it gives you choices. Email, Facebook, banking, shopping and learning are all at our fingertips THEN we get into the more individual likings celebrity gossip, gaming chat rooms or porn, oh all the porn. Any type of porn a normal, sick, perverted, healthy, happy, tortured, gay, straight, bi, asexual, leather daddy, foot massaging, liquid loving person could possibly want to watch. THAT is what our country should stand for and have the courage to be proud of the fact that’s what we stand for. For those are the people that make up this country.

My hope was that this bill wouldn’t make it out of the gates. It still may stall. The more we the people find out about these irrational pleas for power, the more pissed off we’re going to get. We can only be pushed so far, I believe. Around the holidays, like I was saying, there’s always hope for people to change. To stop and realize all the good in the world and in mankind. Even if only during the last 15 minutes of A Christmas Carol or It’s a Wonderful Life does one realize that making the harder decision to do and be good is only hard because you’ve blocked it out of your own life. We are, deep down, good beings and should nurture and care for each other. We are not born to step on another person to keep them down, after we stop to put on some cleats to really drive the point home. Working together, sharing the connection of life: the pain, joy, sorrow, confusion, happiness or freedom is when we feel most whole. When that starts to habitually get recognized that’s when we start to put that first and abandon the “every man for himself” mentality that was probably started by the guy who set the village on fire to begin with.

This year I have boundless things to be thankful for. Without having a full time job and the “security” I had always thought that to bring I am happier then I have been in several years past. I have a wonderful apartment, with fabulous radiators that keep me warm, a family that loves me unconditionally, a group of friends that make sure I have a place to go for the holidays, more friends that support my rantings and encourage me to feel the love I’m finding, I have a good head and warm heart, I have the world at my feet, I have nothing but opportunity to find and live joy, I am a modern day woman that can change the world. I can break free from my own constraints when I am not happy, I can believe whatever I want to believe be it in Harry Potter or Jesus, or respectfully not believe in either. I am able. Able to do the things I want to do. I’m a writer and I’m able to write. How could anyone not be absolutely, obsessively in love with life? I am thankful for this opportunity to reach you, I wish you a happy and healthy Thanksgiving and hope you take this time to be thankful and grateful for all the things you do have and realize you don’t need the things you don’t have. Thank YOU for being YOU.

Happy Thanksgiving.

3 thoughts on “The Holiday Refresh Button.

  1. you are wonderful my dear sister. I’m so proud of you and blessed to be your brother. I love you and wish we could break bread together tomorrow, but happy and grateful that we will both be with people we love and receive love from in return.

  2. NO, Duffster, thank YOU for being one of the most amazing and inspiring people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. I love you hardcore!

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