Bikram. Day 2. Nervous/Excited.
(Pre class scribble) I was looking forward to a very restful, relaxing full sleep when I got home yesterday. Unfortunately, I was so full of energy, I was unable to fall asleep for quite sometime. I finally was able to sleep, close to 6pm which is generally the time I wake up. Having falling asleep so late, I of course overslept. I had 8 minutes to get ready for work and go. Instead of make-up I opted to pack my yoga bag. Clothes. Towel and by god – The Mat! Don’t forget the mat.
Threw it all together, ran out of my apartment and STILL missed the bus. As a result of oversleeping, I was late to work. Something that is not taken lightly at my job and put me into the position of a verbal warning. Needless to say I spent the rest of the night at work pretty salty.
Part of the saltiness comes from all the changes being put into effect, not to mention the challenge I’ve presented myself with Bikram – which still has me a little anxious. What if today’s session isn’t as good as yesterdays? My gift to myself, I wrote – is freedom from that worry. “Just enjoy your body for 90 mins.”
(During class thoughts) I realized today what my biggest struggle will be with bikram. It is NOT ‘head to knee pose’ where you pull your leg vertically out in front of you and fold over your body to lay your head on your knee or ‘camel pose’ where you sit on your knees and do an amazing backwards arch which really tests your spine and opens your heart. Instead, and surprisingly, the most difficult thing for me in 90 minutes of the 105 degree inferno is looking at myself in the mirror. I am completely unable to stare for the full time of a pose at myself – my eyes or my body. That is what raises some pretty intense feelings and unfortunately negativity.
Through the standing phase and the floor phase and all the savasanas in between I was able to be thankful that my body could do as much as it could. Shocking me even one day after I began. After all, yesterday I couldn’t grab both my feet during bow pose, yet today I did. Sweet.
(After class thoughts) Holy shit, I didn’t think it was possible to sweat more than I did yesterday. Yet – I – did. Not only were my clothes soaked,but my towel was too. Oy, the thought of all the laundry I’m going to have to do! The women’s locker room is a whole other challenge. These women are beautiful. I mean tan, toned and clothed in lululemon. I had my target clothes on, dripping with pride that I made them that wet to begin with.
During my final savasana (when you lay flat, breathe and look up at the ceiling) I thanked my body for getting me through the class and my head for getting me to the class. I vowed to try to take as much focus and acceptance that I had within myself during class and out into the real world after.
It didn’t last long. However, I did share a nice moment with the bus driver who was lost because of the Air and Water show unmarked de-tours. She was flustered because I pulled the cord and she didn’t know where to stop, she threw her hands up and said “well where do you wanna go?” I told her “The next corner would be great. This is wonderful door to door service today!” We both shared a laugh and she told me this wasn’t her regular route to begin with. She left me at my corner and I thanked her for doing her best and I appreciated the safe ride home. She smiled, closed the doors and drove on.
Day 2 – success. My thighs are kill-ing me right now. And I’m just sitting on my bed, blogging.