Boxed Blondes and Breathing

Bikram Day 3. Breath.


After a complete and restful sleep I woke up on time for work! I felt a-mazing. My body, soft  and strong, sore in new places yet still it moved together gracefully as I stretched across my bed.  I was in a great mood and actually looking forward to work – AND BIKRAM after!

Working Saturday overnights at a very large, busy downtown hotel it’s always something. However, last night was just impossible. Everything that could go wrong, did go wrong. It was just too much, not to mention time spent training the new guy, which never goes over well with me. (Sorry for him!)

There was a point in the night when 3 girls came back, drunk. They all had impossibly tight dresses, skinny bodies, ridiculously high heels and bleached blonde hair. I couldn’t stop staring at them. I felt bad, however all that I saw when I looked at them was fakeness.

It was such a strange observation coming from me. I don’t think that I am necessarily the type of woman that often finds herself feeling threatened, may-be inadequate when a woman strides across the floor with grace and sophistication but not by late twenty somethings that bypassed Forever 21 to shop at Forever 13.

It was a very freeing feeling, not wanting anything that they seemingly had. Their “beauty” was not beauty to me, because it was solely on the outside. Thus continuing my journey inside.

I had to stay late at work because of all the hiccups caused by the needy guests. When it was 7:20 and I hadn’t clocked out yet, I stood up from my paperwork looked at my co-workers and just said “I can’t be late for yoga.” I was allowed to leave then. I completed my work and hustled down and out.

I made it in perfect time to change, with about 10-15 minutes in the hot room before class started to acclimate. I am pretty sure the key to my success is the initial time in the heat, without movement. I knew that today’s class wasn’t going to be as easy as the first two because I really pushed myself yesterday and therefore had some pressure on myself.

Also, this was the 3rd teacher. She was very different from the other two. It seemed to me she was more attune to the physicality of yoga than the spirituality of it. Which is fine, because different isn’t bad, it’s just different. (As my mother always says)

My balance was not as strong today and I find it difficult to lock my knees. I tried to focus too much on correct breathing, correct posture, etc. Instead of noticing what I was doing vs. what I should be doing. There were definitely some improvements today – standing bow pose,  where you use your right hand to grab your right foot from behind and then slowly bend forward raising your  leg  over your body and lowering your torso parallel to the floor. It’s a great one, I did phenomenal on the left side as my left hip was open and flexible. I’m having a hard time with my right hip opening. Day one Bow Pose (belly on the floor grab both feet from behind) I had problems with the R side as well.

Breathing is hard for me, because I am so used to being told to exhale through my mouth. Between my experience with dance and working out “locked knees” and “breathing through the nose” are harder habits to break. Especially since I didn’t know I had them as habits.

I didn’t walk out of class brimming with energy. I was tired. Wondering if it’s possible for a beginner to complete 30 days in a row. My goal is at least 5 days a week for 4 weeks. Emotionally I feel very humble. I am not sure how else to describe it.  Perhaps a quiet contentment is an apt description.

I have $4 to my name until Tuesday (that’s a whole other story altogether). Normally, I would be freaked out, wondering where I can scrape together some money for food. Yet here I am… content.  And SO proud of myself.


Post Bikram Sweat
Post Bikram Sweat

The light color on the boob is the actual color of the shirt. The rest is sweat. =)

4 thoughts on “Boxed Blondes and Breathing

    1. OMG I know, right! It’s the Universe testing me. Patience and the will to be broke in order to go to Australia. By $4 I mean, able to spend, the rest is in savings. So, at least there is silver lining. However after work tomorrow, on my way home from bikram, I’m going to buy a big box of pasta! $1

    1. It’s so true. I am surprised and how much it doesn’t bother me. Also I’m working on my greed and opening up and sharing with others has so far insured that I did not go hungry any day this week!

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