Booking Neurosis

5 1/2 months ago I had an idea to move to Australia for one year on a working holiday visa (WHV). In three months from today that idea will become my reality. Yesterday, I took the plunge and booked my ticket.

Depending on… everything, 5 months could feel like a minute, a lifetime or… 5 months. My past 5 months have felt like a lifetime. The idea to live in a foreign country has always sat well with me. When the Universe presented me the option to go, I said yes.

That ‘saying yes’ turned into months of dreaming, planning, wondering, worrying, price checking, budgeting, obsessing and pretty much everything else except doing. I put off buying my ticket in fear of over paying or having to change my plans. I put it off as long as I could until I realized I had put it off too long and missed my under $1000 opportunity.

I realized that I had put it off so long that it didn’t feel real. My dream was stuck in “Idea-ville” which is the platonic and disappointing equivalent of being in the friend zone.  With my budget hitting a major stall and hovering in the lowly 1000 mark I didn’t know what to do. Almost daily I would peek at airfares and my bank account in succession hoping one would lower and the other one rise.

Finally I had to admit to myself that I was scared. Scared of failure. Terrified really, to show up in a foreign country with a very little amount of money and to just hope for the best wasn’t the game I wanted to play this time. So instead I pushed my departure date back one full month which will provide me with 6 more weeks of employment compensation.

Once my mind was set and I saw a February leave date as the best option the most amazing thing happened – the clouds parted and down sauntered Fiji Airways. Instead of $1000+ for a one way ticket, my new best friends at Fiji Airways had a ticket for $575 one way from LA to Sydney with a 2 hour layover in Fiji.

Then – I got greedy. Fiji dangles in front of me like the forbidden apple Adam couldn’t resist. And, like Adam I can not resist this tasty treat. For a mere $80 more I was able to book a longer layover in Nadi. A four day layover to be exact.

Four days in Fiji AND then Australia for a year? My heart is brimming with joy, happiness and adventure.  I had lost the flame a little, I realize now, living sedimentary in Chicago. Purchasing the ticket is the first layer of dust being wiped off my wanderlusting heart. I can feel the world out there, beating. Different cultures, new faces, mind opening conversations, eye opening experiences and millions of opportunities to connect to the bigger picture.

My life is so good these days, with steady home and paycheck. It’s a very easy life I have, being able to afford to live comfortably with little change from the day to day. The problem with constant small changes is a big change is frightening in thought and hard to activate. That doesn’t stop the world of change from changing anything though.

The world keeps spinning and what I do in my day to day life has seemingly no effect on my whole life, until the day a big change is made. Then it all begins to separate and I can see the forest for the trees. Although I regard having a full time job with benefits highly, does it allow my soul to flourish and bask in the sun? No.

To travel, to live the life of dreams, to take a courageous step into the unknown is necessary for my growth as a human who willingly wants to experience what life has to offer beyond 4 secure walls and a television set.

So, my friends, here we go again. Another chapter begins, another adventure awaits.