“Drain” (Day 12)

I’m not sure what exactly happened. I woke up today feeling light-headed, dizzy and extremely hot. Snoozing until 20 minutes before work and still having to pull myself out of bed to get a breakfast in before a 7:30 am housekeeping shift.



I didn’t even eat all of the breakfast pictured… essentially I could only eat one piece of toast with a little pb and j. Luckily when I went into work my boss saw I wasn’t fit to work 8 hours or hard labor and sent me home. So I’ve spent the entire day in bed napping on and off.

I’m not sure what is wrong as I don’t feel “sick” but I definitely feel weird. I can’t place the ailment and am curious to know if it’s exhaustion, dehydration, heat exhaustion, a mixture of all 3 or something else entirely.

If it’s true that we manifest physical reactions to our mental thoughts then that could explain my body not know what the hell is going on… as that’s essentially where my head is too. There’s been so much, so fast and it’s hard to keep up with all of it.

There has been a lot of emotion lately anyway from work and trying to figure out the next step for me and the weeks worth of agonizing over whether I should quit and leave and stay for money. With that up and down and then shortly after some other things happening and then directly jumping into this challenge could very well have been an overload for me.

I’ve been having such beautiful and strange dreams lately. Good ones where everything is in a state of loveliness. The type of thoughts one would like to have on a normal basis but go missing in times of stress, worry and doubt. So I take that as a good sign. I can see the future as bright.

Whilst having a sick day in bed today I really just wanted some junk food. I’m not sure why I wasn’t particularly hungry for a while, but just the thought of pizza seemed to make me feel better. Spoke to my mom who said she would bring me a bowl of chicken soup if she were closer, to which I responded, that would be sweet but I couldn’t eat it! OH RIGHT she said and then insisted I just eat yogurt today to keep things light. Again, had to break it to here that also was not on the menu.

By the time the afternoon swung around  and I had caught up on some sleep I finally was hungry enough to eat, so I did… PB and J and some taco bean salad with some lime tortilla chips I bought the other day. I had two serves of that today and was still hungry. So I drank more water.

It’s just past 11pm here now and I should be sleeping.  I fit in the other challenges today, barely sqeaking through the pushups. 19 and I thought I was going to collapse. So I took a break and returned for the last.

I wish I knew why I felt so bad and weak and where it’s coming from. I wish I was able to get a truly restful sleep. At least it’s cool and breezy here tonight and that helps heaps.


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