“Ohhh..” (Day 26)

Well, folks, our challenge is coming to an end. We are so close to the finish I can almost taste it. Seriously, I can taste bacon. Is that a bad thing?

Was pretty stoked for breakfast today as it was left overs from last night which consisted of a veggie schnitzel in a wrap with the usual suspects: avocado, cucumber, tomato and hummus. So good. I baked 2 of the 4 schnitzels that came in the pack yesterday while baking the cupcakes. I was delighted to get that “fried” taste through a veggie patty. It honestly hit the spot and made it feel more like the food I’m used to verses a carb or plant based meal.

With the exception of the likelihood that I will be eating pasta every night this week for dinner, as I did every night last week, I feel pretty strong and healthy. My schedule is working the evening shift so I don’t eat enough before hand I think. Tomorrow I’ll bake the other 2 schnitzels and some cauliflower rice for breakfast or lunch the next two days then I’ll just have to worry about Thursday and Friday.

I’ve been spending a lot of time on Pinterest lately looking up ideas for my 30th birthday BBQ coming up this weekend. As I work with a group of Sri Lankans, Aussies, Filipinos and Kiwis I thought it would be really cool to bring some “American” elements to the BBQ. My plan was to get a piñata, play beer bong, make home made margaritas, overload every one with food, salads and desserts like cake, rice krispy treats and s’mores. Decorate the courtyard with christmas lights and some crappy makeshift decorations to bring it all together.

BUT. Today I went into work and a co-worker told me that they’re throwing the assistant manager’s birthday on my birthday night. I had a diva moment … “AT MY PARTY?” So then he goes on to say “I ordered a cake… but don’t worry I’ll have her put your name on the cake, too.” “What kind of cake is it?” I asked. “I don’t know. What does it matter? It’s just cake.”

This just goes to show how much they don’t know me. I’ve baked a once a month treat and immediately share with everyone and he has the AUDACITY to say to ME – IT’S JUST CAKE?!


My heart broke. Essentially they hi-jacked my party for someone else but they have graciously allowed me to co-celebrate with the almost 26 year old who doesn’t want to celebrate his birthday to begin with. Is it important? Yes and No. It’s not necessarily about the party… it just stung a little feeling like I got pushed completely to the side so the boys can be boys and stand around and grill food, talk shit and get drunk.

DAMMIT I was going to have a piñata and margaritas! Yes, yes, yes – I realize I am a control freak in certain situations as there will still be a party and I should be grateful for that. However, I’m just not quite there yet. In fact, I wasn’t going to write about this in the blog as I didn’t want it to become a “thing.”

Ultimately and sadly I was hoping I could cover up the fact that I do wish I was going to be surrounded by my best friends and family for what has proven to be a larger milestone in my life than I had anticipated. I made the choice to stay here -for money- instead of going to the city to have a rager.

I am not a big birthday person. Never really have been. For the past few years I haven’t had “parties” but just big nights out with my closest friends at the time. This year just feels different. Every year you have a birthday party, or any party, or any idea – you kind of always have that one friend who is gung-ho with you and sometimes on behalf of you.

If someone I was working with and generally liked was going to be turning 30 and wanted to do all the hard work and deck out a party and spend a bunch of time and money on it so that not only herself but everyone else enjoys it – I’d gung ho it and start inviting everyone and getting them pumped.

No one here really did that. My CPBFF did a little, but it was overruled by the majority of the guys just not giving a shit. Or maybe they just don’t realize what a great party they just screwed themselves out of. Anyway, now I see where I stand here and my countdown is on for when I leave. It will be better once I’m gone. Less of a roller coaster.

My birthday dress arrived today, too. It’s not as flattering as I hoped and doesn’t make me feel special. Ha. It’s like one of those sad scenes in a movie except I’m not going to get to eat birthday cake sitting on top of a table with a hunk glowing from the candlelight.

Tomorrow something small will likely happen and I’ll be on top of the world. I know I sound like I’m in a pool of self pity and perhaps I am. This is why a person is better off when they have no expectations.

Knowing me I’ll still probably go all out and do as best as I can to go overboard (which is a family tradition and what I identify “being celebrated” as) and cook, decorate and spend a lot of money on things that will go unappreciated. However, there is strength in knowing that I’d be doing it because I wanted a good party and to share how I like to have a birthday party instead of the pile of cake and meat that it sounds like the party is going to be if the boys were left to their own devices.

That’s in a few day. I can taste the bacon already. Oh, I already said that…  =/

IMG_20141208_130904Let’s be honest… I only posted this picture because my arm looks great. (Please note my arm doesn’t look that good in real life.)

AUTHOR’S EDIT: If I were not doing a challenge I would delete this post. I am embarrassed and ashamed as I feel I am just being small, petty and ungrateful bitching about a birthday party. I am happy, thankful and grateful for so much in my life including the experience and friends I have here. It may not be perfect, but the best things never are… flaws are what makes things one of a kind.

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