“Duality” (Day 28)

Oh, what? Day 28? Like. A. Boss.

The challenge is coming to an end!!! SHIT. I just realized I still haven’t done my push ups and just got out of the shower… Although I had this great moment today when I was talking to a friend and caught my arm out of the corner of my eye and enjoyed the more slender view of my bicep, Checking my own self out… nice.

I am so excited this challenge is coming to a close! It feels good, feels natural, feels like I’ve had the proper amount of roller coasters and self-introspection.

I started this a little over an hour ago and had an important chat with a friend… so now it’s 2 am. Last night I couldn’t sleep and was up until close to 7. Needless to say I need to try and hurry this up so I can do my push ups and meditate and fall asleep…

I have to apologize as I have quite a lot on my mind now. After that chat my mind is going to a bunch of different places and needs to regroup a little. I love when that happens… when your perspective gets tilted and you see things in a different way.

The next few days are going to be a little intense. I can literally taste the end of the challenge. Then on top of that I am training the new receptionist at work and he is draining me. Birthday plans foiled again. So now Saturday will be a complete mystery, even to me. Evening shifts ending at 9pm and up for a 6:30am shift on Sat. Then on top of that I was going to make cupcakes for my birthday buddy this weekend, whose birthday is on Friday.

I do feel stretched a little thin, and definitely tired. So the cupcakes will be the first to get scratched off the list! Especially since they’re not vegan and would literally just be a big chocolatey temptation in my face. Not into it.

Other than that I had a beautiful moment when on the phone with my Mom earlier. I asked for some special American things to help celebrate my birthday so she loving went shopping EVEN went to a dress store, stood in the dressing rooms with multiple sweaters wrap around her hips (to mock my measurements) and sent me pictures of the dresses and said I could pick 3 for my b-day!

I think she only sent me 1 that I actually asked for but that totally doesn’t fucking matter. She wrapped sweaters around her waist to match my measurements! She’s the greatest!

Anyway, so she said the package that she rushed to configure and spent a lot of Do-Re-Mi on, it turns out, will not get here for my birthday. She felt like shit and was so apologetic. I don’t know why she started apologizing. I said “Oh that’s alright, I’ll just get it for Christmas!” She said “you don’t have to do that. I know I fucked up.”

I wanted to crawl through the phone and giver her the biggest hug. How sweet is this lady going so out of her way for me and then feeling like she failed? I can’t stand the idea she feels like that! I don’t mind it coming for Xmas since that just means that we’re having s’mores and rice krispy treats at the Christmas party instead of my 30th birthday that had too many identity crises and imploded.

On top of that I ate a peach so sweet and juicy I had to eat it over the bathroom sink because of all the juice. How does that not prove that there is still some of the most simple, magical and beautiful miracles still around in the world.

You just have to have faith and the willingness to see them through the darkness.

I love you.

See you tomorrow!

Obvi woke up late after my 7 am bed time so pb & j again – lame, but two days left – awesome!