(9) the light

I had to wake up early today, 8am, in order to pick my mom up and head to the gym for our 9 o’clock Zumba class. Last night in training my coach said I was going to be sore today. I woke up tired, but not sore. 

Then we started Zumba-ing and I quickly realized that yesterday was, in fact, not arm day but rather back and shoulder day. Ho. Lee. Mo. Lee. My back is sore. 

I’m pretty into it. Zumba was okay, I didn’t like it very much because it wasn’t like dancing it was bouncing and popping booties. I mean fine, but not what I had hoped. However it did pump me up for the rest of the day. 

I got to go to the clothing store today and bought some new work out clothes. It was a nice feeling. Whilst out running errands, both my mom and I became hangry. 

One hangry woman is bad but two… Forget about it. The problem with being hungry and out and about is there is very very limited options for paleo. Everything has sugar in it or grain. I spent 20 minutes looking for something substantial at the little store. They had very little veg or fruit, so I got raw cashews. At that point I was craving a burger. 

By the time I got home I was so hungry I just would have eaten an entire pizza, had it been readily available. However I stalled and prepared a big chicken salad and ate that. 

I really dislike being so hungry because it imparts my judgement. Mom and I had to go to Home Depot to get this really random thing for her partner. My mom knew what it was called and could describe it but didn’t know which section to find it. 

We had to ask 3 people who sent us all over the store until finally the first lady we asked, and had given us attitude finally moved a little and helped us find it. Oh, where she sent us there were none. I got so frustrated I just walked off. 

I work in customer bullshit service and can not stand when someone gives me attitude right off the bat. I’m not a great specialist in customer service but I’ve learned how to always be civil. It’s so funny how many people are so rude here. 

I believe in asking direct questions and receiving direct answers. 

Then when I got home I started cooking dinner and turned the tv on and this random show I had never seen was on. It’s called My Big Fat Fabulous Life and it’s about this overweight woman in North Carolina who runs a big girls dance class.

Her message is all about body positive and anti body shaming. It’s not an important show, in the history of television however it was so pertinent to things I’m ultra aware of these days that it was a good watch during dinner. 

It made me realize how insecure we all our in our lives about such a rainbow of things. I always forget that people are so different and that what you see is rarely all that you get. Everyone has a story. Like  that girl who was rude at Home Depot. 

I want to be nicer and utilize my compassion as often as possible. I’m so hard on my mom. She gets frustrated and gets loud and makes a scene and I’m embarrassed. I tell her to shhh and calm down and breathe. She does. A little. It’s not fair of me to say this to her when I don’t always control myself well enough. 

It’s a tough world out there and we don’t have to make it harder on each other because ultimately it’s a viscous cycle that just makes every one lose. I don’t want to feel like shit and I don’t want other people to feel like shit. 

Raise yourself up and raise each other up. 

Peace. ❤

tilapia, avocado, steelers snuggly post gym happiness

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