Day 28: Living La Vida Wholeo

So today was surprisingly good. My manager basically broke down in tears to me in my office because she felt like a failure since my coworker quit.

As she poured her heart out about feeling like she’s not good enough and how she just wanted to walk out of the job, I sat there tepidly empathizing. I was torn. On one hand I was mad at her for treating us like shit and not being self aware enough to realize it but I also felt incredibly sorry for her because THAT’S LITERALLY HOW I FEEL ALL THE TIME THERE.

As the crying was letting up, I thought it was a good time to say “so when are we gonna talk about my raise.”

The look on her face was priceless. It’s true though, I was promised a pay raise which should have gone into effect 3 months ago. She knows it and she has put it off. I said look, I need you to represent me and go to the owner and tell him how hard I work and that this is what I was promised and that if I’m not getting a raise then it needs to be acknowledged.

She said she would talk to him.

She came in vulnerable and I laid out exactly what I needed from her and what needed to change. I’m not sure how much change we’ll see but it made me feel vindicated.

For the first time in a while, I feel like there’s been a huge break in the tension. I am hopeful for my work future. Starting Monday I’ll be working 6 days a week, for approximately 12 weeks and possibly more if we have a long, hot summer.

Then exactly as that winds down, I start school. 4 classes. It’s a lot and I can’t wait. OMG school supplies!! I can’t wait. Send me cute backpack links.

My challenge is almost over and I’m really in love with this one. The stress of the pandemic really had me feeling buried under a heavy cloud. This challenge has reinvigorated me and made me feel so strong mentally.

I will continue on! I’m not stopping although I Can. Not. Wait. For a glass.of some kind of alcohol.

I wore some pants today to work that I hadn’t worn in over a month. Guess why I stopped wearing them?? They were tight. Guess what they were today?? Loose!!

Another big moment was when I went to put my fanny pack on today for my walk – I had to tighten it! I hadn’t worn it in over a week because I only wear it when I bring my phone.

I almost walked today without music on, just because I really wanted to think and reflect. I started my walk and about a quarter mile in I just went and sat in the shade of the tree and enjoyed the lake and the warm air.

I sat for about 20 minutes. It was great and relaxing. That was enough and I was ready to go home but I decided to do the other 2.75 miles anyway. I just sauntered along today, took my time, enjoyed it.

My walk was accompanied by Nathaniel Rateliff and the night sweats. In case you need some good music to walk very slowly to and vibe out, they are definitely it.

I came home and made dinner. I’m obsessed with my fridge right now, which will be my pic of the day. I’ve gotten pretty good at shopping for a weeks worth of groceries.

I didn’t get home until a quarter to 8 since I stayed at work until 5:30 then took about an hour and a half at the lake and had to stop by work on my way home because my manager gave me a whole chicken to bake and I couldn’t leave it in the car while I walked.

I didn’t turn the TV on at all tonight. I love days like that. I’m going to try to watch less TV in June. This next month is going to be a tight month financially for me because I have to pay half my fall tuition in three weeks. I’m not going to buy any art supplies until I have the $1200 set aside and all my bills are paid. So I don’t want to spend time watching TV I’m going to find other stuff to do.

I want to find a used book store and spend a few bucks to buy some books and hopefully that will keep me occupied this weekend. I haven’t gotten lost in a good book in too long.

I’m thinking of taking down my art table. I want to hang my art piece and shelf over the fireplace and feel my living room as a whole this weekend, without plastic tarps over everything.