Day 29 & 30: The Wholeo Crusade, Complete.

Yesterday was a conscious choice not to blog, sort of. I was in a bad, bad mood.

When I got to work Friday morning I was already frustrated. With my coworker gone and the hot summer pending, I know how shitty the next few months will be.

After deciding to not spend money this weekend and have a weekend with the TV off, I had a brilliant idea of going camping at about 8:30am Friday. I found the perfect place about an hour or so from me, cheap and with all the amenities I’d need to make a quick weekend.

Well, they’re only open for advanced reservations because of coronavirus. My coworker told me about another place, in Oklahoma about 2 hours away. It was more expensive and for a two night getaway the campsite alone would be $60 then gas, food, blah blah…

I literally spent every free moment I could at work looking up places. Nothing had last minute availability. I was this close 🤏 to going to Oklahoma, had I gotten out of work early, like we normally do on Fridays.

My manager ended up leaving at 3 to deliver something for work and she comes in and says to me “I told [the owner] you wanted to go camping so hopefully he’ll let you go early, I set it up for you to get out early 😉”

Well. I left at 5. I was pissed. I was so deflated and disappointed because it was just too much to do to start at 5. I even told my manager that had my coworker remained working I would have asked for Friday or Monday off so that I could rest before going to 6 day work weeks.

I’ve been telling her since late March that I’ve been exhausted and needed a break because March ended up being a crazy month with everything that happened on top of CV. This is what makes her a horrible manager. Not being able to recognize the signs of when an employee’s battery is on low and needing a recharge.

This is when you plan an abscence versus have someone call out or even worse burn out completely.

Anyway, I changed after work to go for a walk but ended up not going. I came home. I laid on the couch and read my mail. Then I fell asleep. I woke up at 9 and without eating dinner, getting water, brushing my teeth I just crawled into bed and slept until the morning.

It was a depression sleep because it was forced and way too much sleep. I ended up staying in bed until almost 11am.

I made breakfast and then decided I was going to go out. I went to the protests and drove around but I was still angry and it was hot and I didn’t want to be in that environment. So I left.

I went to a book store and walked around for an hour. I bought a few things 2 books, a cookbook and two DVDs. Then I went to Walmart to get groceries.

I ended up spending so much money on groceries, I don’t even know how. I basically had to refill my wholeo supply. Olive oil, spices, Paleo ketchup, the good bacon and a bunch of fruit and veggies. I didn’t buy any more protein but how I spent $100, I have no idea.

I was trying to be on a budget and my budget for food this week was not that much. Oh well. I’d rather spend that much on good food rather than blow it on useless crap.

In that purchase I also bought a few shirts for walking. But still…

I came home after the store and was just going to stay home for the rest of the night. I was anxious and had energy to spend. They were saying that there was some more looting planned for my area So I didn’t want to go out, but I couldn’t just stay inside.

I went to a different lake to walk around. This one was much bigger, it’s 9.3 miles around. I only walked for 30 minutes then turned around and walked back because I didn’t want to get stuck in the dark. A) because it was a new place for me and B) There’s too much unrest these days.

The overall feeling was very calm and serene. Most people were very gentle. You could tell that there was a difference in the air. A bit of fear, a bit of comaraderie. There was a diverse crowd too.

On my way home I stopped for gas and an In-n-out burger. I knew I was too tired to wait for the whole chicken to cook and as I didn’t have dinner last night it was important I eat enough today.

After I ate dinner at home, I popped the chicken in and put a movie on in the background. I scrolled through Reddit and looked up trails for the hike I’m going on tomorrow morning with my departed coworker.

I’m hoping to have a great day tomorrow. Today felt ill executed, just like yesterday. If my friend wants to go out for breakfast or lunch after our hike, I’ll go. If she doesn’t, then when I come home I’m gonna drink the bottle of wine I bought today. I’ll probably get home around 10 am. 🤷

I thought about what I want to eat tomorrow and if I want a cake for breakfast. To be honest, I don’t. I feel so amazing. Just mentally and physically I feel so much better than I did.

It’s hard for me to practice moderation so it’s better I stay away from it all. But we’ll see if we go out for food and what I choose.

I’ll write one more blog tomorrow to let you know how all that goes. Other than that, that’s 30 days in the bag. #nailedit

My mellow evening lake walk.

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