I left work feeling a little deflated today. Today and tomorrow are scheduled days off for my co-worker, so I basically filled in for her today. Obviously since I’m still so new my Lead was watching out and helping me, the manager popped in and out during the day and it was going really, really well until 5:30.
At 5:30 my lead said she needed to go for the day, she normally gets off at 4 but stayed so I wasn’t alone and I since I get off at 6, I would be fine for the last 30 minutes. Literally as she was saying goodbye a problem arose. I texted her as quickly as my fingers could… “WAIT!” Like grabbing into empty air as you’re already falling off the cliff. Anyway a problem came up, I tried to fix it, I couldn’t in the best way so I settled for the second best way.
As I type this out now I realize I did the best I could, in fact I did a really good job. At that point it was a few minutes to 6 and I had some things to finish up and another technician called and needed something that I haven’t been shown how to do. It wasn’t a big deal and we worked it out, I got help from another teammate from a different department.
Technology is amazing. I texted for help in our group chat and she offered to show me. Which turned out to be awesome because I was like “no don’t show me please do it.” Then my computer started ringing and we video chatted and she shared her screen and she taught me something new in the span of 3 minutes. It was really cool and made me feel better and more useful after feeling like I messed up right before.
By 6:40 I was ready to clock out. After clocking out, I just sort of sat at my computer for a few minutes. Just in silence. I had complimented myself in my head all day about how great of a job I was doing. I was really proud of myself and then I felt like it just all got kicked out from under me.
I took a quick inventory of how I felt and what I needed right then. I decided to take a hot shower and climb into bed. The sun was still shining. So that’s exactly what I did. Closed all the curtains and got into bed around 7. I didn’t even make dinner. I ate a banana. At first I felt bad about feeling like I made a mistake. Not one person on the team would say that I made a mistake or didn’t do a good job. It just left me feeling icky and deflated, so I figured rest was the answer.
It’s 9 o’clock and I bet I will be asleep within an hour. I’m not waking up early tomorrow either, I’m going to sleep. I think that’s what my body needs. Partly because today was the first day of the challenge that I craved sugar. Midway through the day I was thinking about sweets and then around 4 and then when I got off work. I really wanted a piece of cake or something decadent. But, I’ll settle with out it.
I ate the last of my meatloaf today for lunch. I made kind of a big lunch since I had to take a lunch break. The piece of meatloaf, potatoes, mushrooms and spinach. Which is probably why I am not super hungry now. It turns out a well balanced meal is both delicious and filling.
For breakfast I made Tuna lettuce wraps with mayo and tomato. Whole 30 friendly mayo is a life saver. I’m going to buy more tuna because that was a great breakfast and filling. I used a heaping teaspoon of mayo which was way too much mayo, I didn’t realize how easy it spreads. But the mayo was good for the fat portion of the meal.
My tummy feels smaller and happier. I love the feeling when you wake up in the morning and feel that you made good choices yesterday and your body is responding well.
Adventures of the untoward 