Day 16. I cheated.

I feel like it’s always something with me… so last night I went to bed feeling a little dizzy. This morning I woke up with full blown vertigo. I slept completely through my first alarm and woke up to my second which was set for two hours later. After the 8:20 alarm went off I realized something wasn’t right. I texted my team lead at work and she was incredibly sympathetic and understanding and I was 45 minutes late to work today because the 20 foot walk from my bed to the desk was too much to bare.

For the most part of today it was pretty bad, I was however able to complete a full work day, but I took a few breaks and could lay down for a bit when I needed. I’m guessing this is related to the vaccine that I got on Saturday but at this point, who knows.

I had some pineapple for breakfast, 3 hard boiled eggs and some pickles for lunch and then after work I was faced with dinner. I didn’t have anything prepared and the hardest part of this challenge is that so much of the food has to be cooked, there aren’t a lot of fast, easy options.

I really wanted to take a shower and as I was getting out of the shower realized I spent all of my energy on making it out of the tub alive I decided to do what I never thought I would do – I ORDERED DELIVERY!

It was the smartest $23 I’ve spent in a long time. I ordered greek food, chicken souvlaki with a greek salad and even paid the extra $3 for grilled vegetables instead of rice. There were 4 things that were non compliant – the 2 pieces of pita, the tzatziki and the hummus and feta cheese that were on the salad. Potentially the salad dressing too and whatever was put on the chicken. This was by far the best thing I could have done for myself. I even surprised myself by eating the pita, normally I wouldn’t but I’ve been feeling so off lately I thought that the two small pieces wouldn’t hurt but could potentially help.

There were 3 skewers of chicken and I ate all three. Normally when I get this dinner I only eat two, but I was listening to my body and it said FEED ME!

One of the perks to doing this challenge, or any 30 day challenge is the constant checking in with oneself. For me, food is my biggest addiction, biggest comfort zone while simultaneously being my biggest source of guilt and shame for so many years. It’s nice to listen to your body. Even though I had tummy issues the past few days, overall my digestive system feels so much better.

I’m really eager to start a work out routine but I’m okay not doing it yet because I think I’m ultimately dealing with some residual burn out. I keep thinking of it in terms of doing something to reverse burn out, really the answer is to do as little as possible. It’s just like charging a phone. If you’re charging a phone while you’re on it either talking or surfing it’s not going to charge as fast. If you just set your phone aside it’ll charge a lot faster. If you put it in airplane mode and it gets to focus solely on charging with no other interruptions, it charges the fastest.

For a lot of us, we don’t have the option to turn on airplane mode in our lives. Therefore, the next best option is to plug in and rest. Tonight as I drift off to sleep I’m going to try to visualize me plugging myself into the “source” which is like universal energy. Basically I’m going to imagine my foot as a plug and the galactic atmosphere an outlet and I’m just gonna float around connected to stars and shit, charging my battery. I just had that idea and I think it sounds like a good one.

Short one tonight, most of my brain energy went to work. Let me know if anyone has any insights on what could have caused the vertigo or if we think it’s just the vaccine reaction, a few days later.

It’s 8:40 and I’m going to sleep. #selfcare

Not really cheating, more like WINNING

OH I FORGOT TO TELL YOU – MY NEIGHBOR IS ALIVE! I haven’t seen him but he’s been going to work this week. I heard a few footsteps on Sunday night. It was weird though because I didn’t hear him get home but as I was drifting off to sleep there was definitely someone up there. If I ever meet a genie one of my wishes would be to go back in life and get all the answers to stupid things like this.

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